How to Write a Joke I warn you now! This is a very serious article about a very serious affair. Writing a joke can often be a matter of life and death, especially for someone who is trying to make a living out of it. Truth is, funny will often pull a fast one on the fellow, making him wish he took his life more seriously.
Acknowledgement These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom.
If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. I also collect Jokes about other instruments.
How is lightning like a violist's fingers? Neither one strikes in the same place twice. How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? Put it in a viola case.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola? The viola burns longer. The viola holds more beer. You can tune the violin. We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer.
But why does it burn longer? It's usually still in the case.
How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? Write a whole note with "solo" above it. How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando? The coffin has the dead person on the inside. What do you do with a dead violist? Move him back a desk.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. What's the difference between a viola and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a viola.
What's the definition of a minor second? Two violists playing in unison. What's the definiton of "perfect pitch? Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses? They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in. What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
The seamstress tucks up the frills. What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?Jim Richardson's "How to Write a Joke: the 7 basic joke forms" Ok, now that the dummy's got his cigar, have you got your pen and the cocktail napkins in a shoe box that you've been calling your act?
These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom. If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you.
*** Musician Jokes *** Welcome to the Worlds Largest Collection of Musician Jokes No instrument, musician or music style is sacred here Special thanks to Sheldon Wong of Mountain Group Audio and Rick Rosen of the Rick Rosen Marketing Group for helping to get this whole thing started and to all who have contributed.
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Named after an old joke, which seems at first blush to be a pair of unrelated benjaminpohle.com the end of the first joke, a brick is tossed away, leaving the confused listener without a benjaminpohle.com the end of the second joke, the brick returns and the listener falls on the floor benjaminpohle.com bonus points, the teller can tell an actual unrelated joke in between.